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New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct


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#1 KillerFrog InD KitchenSink

KillerFrog InD KitchenSink

    Kenneth Davis

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 10:38 AM

http://www.theonion....rate-rep,27371/

...According to members of the Initiative to Protect the Political Middle (IPPM), centrist Republicans, who once freely roamed the nation calling for both economic deregulation and a return to Reagan-era tax rates on the wealthy, are in dire need of protection, having lost large portions of their natural terrain to the highly territorial Evangelical and Tea Party breeds.

"Our new program is designed to isolate the few remaining specimens of moderate Republicans, mate them in captivity, and then safely release these rare and precious creatures back into the electorate," said IPPM’s Cynthia Rollins, who traces the decline of the species to changes in the political climate and rampant, predatory fanaticism. "Within our safe, enclosed habitats, these middle-of-the-road Republican Party members can freely support increased funding for public education and even gay rights without being threatened by the far-right subgenus."...

..."The most difficult task we have is preserving members of this disappearing breed before the desperate need for votes forces them to begin parroting borderline racist anti-immigration ideologies and accusing their opponents of being socialists," tracker Phil Gandelman said. "We thought we had captured and tagged a truly exemplary specimen a few weeks ago, but when we studied the creature more closely, we realized it was just John McCain."

"The poor little guy was so far gone we had to put him out of his misery," Gandelman added...

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A mated pair of centrist GOP politicians in captivity.

TCU's original spread offense

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"I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon."

"I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles."





#2 NewfoundlandFrog

NewfoundlandFrog

    Davey O'Brien

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 10:42 AM

...


Unfortunately, this is rather too true.

I love the other pic, though it could have been greatly improved with the addition of a pocket bible or large wooden cross, I think...

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“... at night ... guarded by eighty sentinels ... Ernesto IV trembles in his room. All the doors fastened with ten bolts, and the adjoining rooms, above as well as below him, packed with soldiers... If a plank creaks in the floor, he snatches up his pistols and imagines there is a Liberal hiding under his bed. At once all the bells in the castle are set ringing ... the Minister of Police takes good care not to deny the existence of any conspiracy; on the contrary, alone with the Prince, and armed to the teeth, he inspects every corner of the rooms, looks under the beds, and, in a word, gives himself up to a whole heap of ridiculous actions worthy of an old woman." --Stendahl, The Charterhouse of Parma (1839)
 
 
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